There is English class. There is a speech one must do in English class. There is a lack of ideas that my classmates would find amusing. I’m open to suggestions cause, as one of them pointed out, (rephrased quote following) all my ideas will bore them to death, no matter what. Horrid. Hence, I’m looking for somebody else’s ideas. If all else fails, I’ll do something that I find amusing and they’ll just have to suffer through.

In despair I even started thinking about doing something completely out of context. A thing such as lupus, tomacco, or Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116…

Any suggestions?

“Outcast since a child…” - Vlado Kreslin

A little while ago I figured out why I always feel alien around people, why I feel as if I was odd. It’s not, I think, because it would be true, but because, even if it isn’t, they make it true. They treat me differently, they almost expect me to have an opinion that is hundreds of miles away from their own. In conversation, they dismiss my thoughts with a wave of their hand or by rolling their eyes… Or worse, they agree. I hate it when they agree… They’re all talk and no backbone. With exceptions of course, there are always exceptions. Wonderful people that are on the same wave length… Strangely for me, they’re also thought of as odd.

There is a literary society that I was a member of until recently. Technically, I still am, until the end of next month. It was the first place where I felt normal. Almost everybody who came there were thought to be odd by the people around them. It was a calming place, it lost that, but… It was good while it lasted.

It was somewhere around the time I joined the society that I accepted the game. I said: “Fine, if you keep telling me that I’m different, you’ll get what you think you have.” I guess that, as a daughter of the self proclaimed village freak, I didn’t have much choice to begin with. They got me, I slowly stopped caring about everybody’s opinions… The only influence they have over me now is when the hypocrisy behind the opinions pisses me off.

When it comes to my opinions about people in general, they vary from a very good day to a normal day. On a very good day I think everybody is, in essence, allright. On a normal day I think they are hypocritic morons and that, as House says, “everybody lies”. But that opinion, naturally, doesn’t apply to some of my friends. I don’t idealise them, I just don’t think they’re morons and everything else is forgiven… And they do the same for me. Magic.

And are people really hypocritic morons or do they just act as if they were?

I also wanted to post a House MD quote I’ve had in my head for a few days now… I love that show. House is openly everything that I still hide.

Maddy: If my daughter doesn’t want to choose the easy path, I won’t force her to.
House: Then you’re a lousy mom. You want your daughter to be a freak.
Maddy: We’re not freaks.
House: [sighs] You want her to overcome adversity.
Maddy: Yes.
House: Then why stop at height? Poke a stick in her eye, imagine how interesting she’ll be then.
Maddy: Being little is not the same–
House: You and I have found that being normal sucks because we’re freaks. Advantage of being a freak is that it makes you stronger. How strong do you really want her to have to be? Tell her what you have to tell her, now you tell her you lied, even if you didn’t.

Green, all green… There are very few things as magical as a tree’s rich green crown in the sun, or the shocking vivid green of a soft grass field. Natural grass with daisies, dandelions, clovers… Artificial grass or, a lawn, if you prefer, gives me the the creeps. Taming nature to serve no other purpose but aesthetics is not a valid enough reason to me.

The decision was made Thursday, me and Biks stumbled upon an Irish pub with an announcement “Live Irish music this Thursday!”. I am not quite sure if it was then or earlier in the day that the dice fell… But it did. It seems we’ll be going off to Ireland in the summer, chasing Leprechauns and other Irish social minorities. (Such as Guiness haters, British people and perhaps even someone without an cool accent ;P )

The “Live Irish music” turned out to be a guy from Prekmurje on a guitar. It’s been a while since I laughed that hard, Hit Me Baby One More Time - Irish style was great. The best song was unfortunately also one I can’t remember. A parody on something, cheeky… Now lost in oblivion. (Or my mind, whichever you think has a bigger sum of holes.)

On a strange day like last Thursday, such an outing was exactly what I needed. A friend, laughs, beer (heretically, it was Laško and not Guiness), music… What beter relaxation can you think of? A good book and a cup of green tea is a very close second. :)

I once said that changes are the only purpose time has. I often wish it didn’t have a purpose… Changes aren’t really my cup of tea. “Everything that has a beginning has an end.” is the tagline for Matrix Revolutions. I don’t really know which of the two options the statement leaves is the one I want. Do I want something that has a beginning but no end, or something that doesn’t have a beginning? Changes are the only constant. Nothing ever sits still in my world, it’s like one big caleidoscope in perpetual motion.

I suppose changes are better than stagnation. Always having something on your mind is better than dull greyness of a world, where your mind is emtpy, because everything is always the same.

I just don’t like good things ending. Can you put a price on peace of mind?

Were was I at midnight on the 31st of December? The idea was to watch the fireworks from the Ljubljana castle… But at around 2 minutes to midnight, me and Biks found ourselves on a stairway under the castle, where the boys in Vesna lived. A cute little spot. The fireworks were very well visible from there, as was the entire city. We also had our dwarven lamps… Fairy tale-ish things add some magic.

After the fireworks stopped we went up to the castle, there we spinned around with iskrice - sparkes, on the parking lot until we ran out… Ever tried swordfighting with one of those? En garde! ;) The actual castle was unfortunately closed, but down in Ljubljana centre entertainments weren’t few. By Robov vodnjak there was even a concert by Elda Viler and her daughter, Ana Dežman… Wonderful sounds to take you into a new year. What a voice!

We met up with Biks’s sister and her 2 friends sometime around… I don’t know when. When we decided to go to sleep I realised that the last time my sleeping bag was unwrapped was at Metal Camp… It seems I forgot to take it out and shake all the ghosts out, it was still full of bits of leaves and “branchettes”.

In the morning, it was time to go home, of course… The day’s real world welcoming wagon turned up right at the bus station. -”A ticket to XY please.” -”That’ll be YZ euros.” Excuse me? Whoops… I forgot. I’m having a hard time getting used to them. The bus drove, however, and eventually drove to my town… And consiquentially, I was back home. Family relations are usually much harder to maintain than friends.