The past few days have been quite eventful. For one thing, I no longer have to depend on the good will of my sister, to be able to use the computer. Yes people, that’s right, I am no longer computerless. A few days ago, my uncle knocked on the door, with a functional machine. You can imagine my surprise, I’m sure. :) I am very grateful.

However, upon turning the beast on (Shhh! Pervs. You know what I mean. -.-), I realised that only half of my keyboard was functioning properly. Since I didn’t have much to do, without a keyboard, I occupied myself with the mouse. Thus, a new blog look was born.

I hope you like it. :)
I do.

It’s a weird feeling, not having to do anything. It’s been 3 years since I’ve had a proper holiday. I have yet to pass a year in High School without a make-up test. In my first year, it was Biology. Silly, I know, I didn’t study during the year. In my first second year, it was Geography and Maths. Geography, like Biology, wasn’t a problem to fix, but Maths… Uf, Maths. It’s actually quite an interesting subject, the only problem is that I suck at it.

But I passed yesterday, for a change. :p And on to my 4th year of High School, I go. Thanks to one of my friends, who taught me everything that I didn’t forget, or mix up, when it actually needed to be used. There’s a girl with a lot of patience. :)

Grandma yells from the living room to my room. A door away. A door through which you have no problem hearing a room-volumed phone conversation.

It happens every so often that I cannot connect my thoughts and feelings to specific words… Sometimes I simply cannot write. That is more of a problem than it appears to be, because when I cannot write, I get confused. It is as if brainwaves got tangled up into a Gordian knot that eventually needs to be untangled, not cut.

When I brought up the problem with a friend of mine, she said something along the lines of: “The words will come back, don’t worry. They always do, that’s your gift.” She is right, of course. They always do… Eventually. This morning I felt up to it.

I feel sadness, an unusual kind of sadness. A boy died in Tolmin a few days ago, by the very same river that you can see in my previous posts. It appears he must have wandered in, intoxicated… and drowned. This shouldn’t make me sad, I didn’t know him… Why does it make me sad? … I don’t know. Somehow, I can’t get it out of my head. He was only 17 years old. It could happen to anyone. I was 17 years old last year, some of my friends are 17 at the moment. We’ve all been drunk before, we know the clumsiness. It never crosses our minds that it could kill us. Imagine all the options and prospects, possibilities dying because you had too much to drink. It’s such a waste, he shouldn’t have died, he was only 17 years old. I walked by the same river, swam in the same river, laughed in the same river, by the same river, not more than two weeks ago. I know the river is just that, a river, it doesn’t have a personality, feelings, thoughts… Does it? Someone died in it, someone who the river observed for years… Did she watch him and waited to lure him in? Did she feel like a mother whose child dies inside her? Did she feel sad? Happy? Pleased? Was there a point she tried to make?

The river has a soul now… Or perhaps another soul, if she has one of her own… Now she has a young boy’s soul to keep her company. Maybe she was lonely… I don’t know.